There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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