in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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