woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
