Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
