1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
