mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Are we still banned from the library?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
