it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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