new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
