You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize