I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
