he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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