Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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