i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
