hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize