ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
