what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
