his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
