$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
