and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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