I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
