I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize