oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Are we still banned from the library?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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