My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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