never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
