In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
