just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
