and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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