So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
