We won't sleep together?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Randomize
