Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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