if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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