There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
a search helicopter?!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
