Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize