You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
