I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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