i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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