i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
