After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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