She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I need to stop coming to work sober
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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