So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize