Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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