He uses pillows to masturbate.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
