I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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