I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
