Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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