There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I will be naked everywhere
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
