so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
