I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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