I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
