party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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