plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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