You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i think my mom watched the whole time
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
