Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
