A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
