Sry I called you an 8
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
