dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
