I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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