Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize