Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
