dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
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