Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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