puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
