Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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