It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
