I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
