I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
