benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
They took my balls.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
