I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
