i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
