So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
