Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
