He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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