can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he laminated a picture of his dick.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
