those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I am one with the molecules
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
