I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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