ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
