It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
